Author: admin (Page 1 of 3)

Artist: Roy Orbison

Released: 1959

Lyrical relic: Paper boy

I walk down to the blue side of town 
Where there's no happiness, no joy 
Down at the end of a long dark street 
I saw a little paper boy 

Paper boy paper boy 
I've got bad news for you 
Paper boy paper boy 
Me and my baby are through 

Full lyrics

What do Wayne Gretzky, Warren Buffet and Martin Luther King Jr. have in common? They were all paper boys — kids who delivered printed newspapers. If you grew up before the new millennium, you might not have seen the paper boy too often, but you may have heard the clunk of his delivery on your doorstep.

In America, paper boys allegedly got their start back in 1833, with the hire of 10-year old named Barney Flaherty. The early paper boys like Barney operated independently, buying the papers from the publishers as a lot. They would either hawk them from street corners or roam neighborhoods trying to sell them.

The esteemed job of hurling rolled-up newspapers to doormat targets would eventually become many a proud boy’s initiation into paid employment. Often performed while riding his bicycle, this involved some highly-skilled coordination.

As the name implies, girls were not originally allowed to deliver newspapers. It’s not clear when they started to want in on the action, but they were certainly delivering papers in the 80s . “Paper Girls” is a 2022 Amazon series that imagines a group of friends who all have paper routes in 1988.

While the morning paper could be delivered very early before school started, newspapers often had afternoon or evening editions which were more convenient for kids to deliver after school. The disappearance of these later editions was one of the factors that led to the decline of the news boy.

By 1987, the LA Times was already reporting a steady decline in the number of paper boys/girls, long before the printed newspaper was set on its course for extinction. By the mid-1990s, many of these paper routes were taken over by “newspaper carriers” — adults flinging out papers from their cars.

Many successful adults credit their early newspaper delivery jobs as being a formative experience. The Newspaper Carrier Hall of Fame was established in 1960 by the International Circulation Managers Association to recognize former newspaper carriers who have achieved national prominence.

Today, a 10 year-old kid like Barney is very unlikely to have ever had the thrill of getting his fingers smudged with newsprint, let alone partaking in the rite of passage that delivering newspapers was to many boys. Roy Orbison may be lamenting the fact that he and his baby “are through”, but the demise of the paper boy may very well be considered just as sad.

Artist: Chic

Released: 1978

Lyrical relic: 54 [Studio 54]

Just come on down to the 54
Find your spot out on the floor

At the height of the disco era, Studio 54 was THE club in New York City where all the A-listers went to boogie and bump hips, among other more salacious things. Opened in 1977, the club became known for its exclusivity and its permissive atmosphere brimming with sex and drugs.

On New Year’s Eve of 1977, Nile Rodgers and Bernard Edwards of Chic showed up at 54 only to be denied entry. This song was borne of their infuriation and was originally aptly titled, “Fuck Off”, a not so subtle rebuke to the club’s doorman

It seems like Rodgers and Edwards had the last laugh when the retitled song became a bonafide hit. It reached the top of Billboard‘s Hot 100 chart for a total of six weeks, becoming the biggest hit in the history of Atlantic records (until Madonna’s 1990 release of Vogue).

And I’m sure they were still laughing when Studio 54 finally closed its doors to everyone in 1980, its owners having been convicted of tax evasion.

Sources:

https://www.loc.gov/static/programs/national-recording-preservation-board/documents/LeFreak.pdf

Artist: Tori Amos

Released: 1994

Lyrical Relic: Encyclopedia

She knows what's going on
Seems we got a cheaper feel now
All the sweeteaze are gone
Gone to the other side
With my encyclopaedia

If you’re 13 years old and have no idea what an encyclopedia is, I might suggest you grab your phone and “Google” it. But first imagine it’s 1994 and you wanted to know what smartphones and Google are. You could go consult a reference book called an encyclopedia, but unfortunately, these books did not foretell the future….so you’d be out of luck. What the encyclopedia could tell you is a little bit about a lot of things. Think Wikipedia’s grandma, in paper.

The information one culled from the encyclopedia was deemed 100% reliable. Unlike a search engine that indexes anything and everything, without filter, you could be confident that the very human editors of the encyclopedia were serving you information without any agenda or errors. Of course, the information could very well be outdated right after it got published, but you didn’t really worry about that.

Encyclopedias, either generalized or specialized in a subject, have been around for about 2000 years. Encyclopaedia Britannica bills itself as the world’s oldest continuously published encyclopaedia, although they no longer publish a print edition.

World Book is the only general reference encyclopedia still published in print today, its client base comprised almost exclusively of public and school libraries. They pride themselves on providing “authoritative content on almost every topic to learners of all ages, from school-age readers (9-18) to adults.” And the 22-volume set can all be yours for the low price of $1099.

At its peak in 1990, World Book was raking in a cool $32 million in profit. This was also the year that Tim Berners-Lee developed the HTTP protocol and the HTML language. He would publish the first-ever website the following year, a harbinger of the galactical shift in how we acquire and consume information. Britannica saw the writing on the wall(web?), and solidified an online presence for itself in 1995.

In 1993, Microsoft released a CD-ROM based encyclopedia, Encarta, but it was short lived. Britannica was ahead of its time when it came to adopting the Web: it has been online since 1995, which pre-dated Wikipedia’s entry to the Web by several years.

Is there still a raison d’être for the encyclopedia? Perhaps. When the Internet goes down and your school report on outer space is due the next day, the encyclopedia could very well be your saving grace.

Sources:

https://www.theledger.com/story/business/columns/2024/01/06/yes-world-book-encyclopedia-still-publishes-in-print-gadget-daddy/72110891007

Artist: Iyaz

Released: 2009

Lyrical relic: iPod

Shawty's like a melody in my head
That I can't keep out
Got me singin' like
Na na na na everyday
It's like my iPod stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay-ay

Introduced in 2001 by Apple, the iPod enjoyed a 20+ year stint as a personal music player, one that truly revolutionized the portability of music. Although some clunky MP3 players existed before the iPod, Apple succeeded in creating a super slim, sleek, intuitive device that could hold 1000 songs.

The iPod has the honor of being Apple’s longest-running brand before it was discontinued. Although the iPod line was only discontinued in 2022, its relevance as a standalone music player began dwindling as smartphone and music streaming services once again began to redefine how we consume music.

I still have two iPods, the Nano and the Shuffle — the only Apple products I have ever owned. I doubt I will ever give up using my Shuffle. It weighs practically nothing and clips on to my shirt, unburdening me almost completely for a run or bike ride. I just don’t get that kind of freedom from my smartphone.

A lot more can be said about the iPod’s impact on how we listen to music today. What might hold the most significance is the important role iPod had in our shift away from listening to music as albums. Pre-iPod, you would inevitably have to make the decision whether to shell out your hard earned money to buy a CD that contained only one or two songs that you REALLY liked. With its ability to hold and easily navigate a huge amount of songs, the iPod allowed us to cherry pick those songs we really loved for our collection. The ones that would inevitably get stuck on replay, replay-ay-ay.

Artist: Eddie Money

Released: 1978

Lyrical relic: Plane tickets (the paper kind)

I'm gonna take you on a trip so far from here
I've got two tickets in my pocket, baby, we'll disappear

This lyrical relic almost slips under the radar since airlines still of course issue flight tickets, albeit in digital format. But that pair of tickets in Eddie’s pocket, those are the tangible, paper airline tickets that ended up vanishing…just like Eddie promised his baby they would disappear.

The humble paper airline ticket can be traced back to the 1920s. There was no standard format for these tickets in the beginning, but the International Air Transport Association (IATA) eventually resolved the problems this presented by standardizing it.

The first electronic ticket was issued in 1994, although widespread adoption was slow going. In 2008, the IATA made the decision to completely stop supplying paper ticket stock to travel agencies around the world. It was reported that eliminating of paper tickets would help reduce airline costs by as much as $3 billion worldwide and cut the cost of issuing a ticket from $10 to $1.

To me, this song is brimming with the anticipation of escape. I can imagine Eddie whipping the tickets out from his pocket to surprise his lady friend, and the two of them savoring the excitement of what these tickets promise to deliver: paradise (of the tropical nature most likely). Sadly, you just don’t get that kind of romanticism from pulling up a ticket on your phone.

Sources:

https://www.iata.org/en/pressroom/pressroom-archive/2008-releases/2008-31-05-01

Artist: Jan & Dean

Released: 1963

Lyrical Relic: Saving and redeeming Popsicle wrappers for prizes

Save popsicle wrappers and before long
You'll win a phonograph to play this record on

Full lyrics

For many kids, popsicles are forever linked to happy summertime memories. Jan & Dean, pioneers of the surf music sound, were synonymous with summertime, too. So it makes sense that they’d record a song about the joys of popsicles, even if they were in their early 20s at the time.

Were Jan & Dean actual Popsicle brand ambassadors? You’d think so, given how this song could have been an extended jingle for the brand and its gift program. However, it was a cartoon character named Popsicle Pete who was the official mascot, encouraging kids to save Popsicle wrappers in exchange for exciting prizes. He was introduced in 1939 and stuck around into the 90s.

You’d need a heck of a lot of wrappers to win a phonograph (a.k.a record player). It would require much fervent popsicle licking (and potential brain freeze). Curiosity led me to eBay where I found a listing for the Popsicle 1963-1964 Gift List brochure. I’m sure Jan & Dean fans were disappointed, as was I, to find that no phonograph was featured in the brochure. But you could redeem 300 wrappers/coupons for a neat-o Electric Telegraph Set (since Morse Code was presumably the “texting” of the times).

It’s not clear when Popsicle discontinued its prize program. The most recent prize brochure listed on eBay is a Canadian version from 1984. If you’re interested in tracking inflation through popsicle wrappers, you’ll be shocked to learn that 21 years later in 1984, it would take take 350 wrappers (and $1.75 for shipping) to earn you a measly ballpoint pen!

Sources:

https://www.diamondcomics.com/Article/25615-From-The-Scoop-Did-You-Know–Popsicle-Pete

Artist: Sloan

Released: 1994

Lyrical relic: Penpals [more specifically, written fan mail]

Although this song by Canadian rock band Sloan is entitled “Penpals”, the word does not appear in the lyrics. So TECHNICALLY, it’s not a lyrical relic.

The Oxford Dictionary defines a pen pal as “a person with whom one becomes friendly by exchanging letters, especially someone in a foreign country whom one has never met.”

The lyrics are all swiped from actual fan mail written to Nirvana, their grungier labelmates on Geffen Records. How Sloan came into possession of these letters from all over the world is not quite clear. But singer/writer Chris Murphy managed to piece them together, in all their broken English, into a smart and catchy jigsaw puzzle of a song.

This single was featured on the album Twice Removed, released in August 1994, less than six months after the death of Kurt Cobain.

The Internet was still in its infancy back in 1994 (when the screech of dial-up was music to our ears), so putting pen to paper was still the standard way of reaching out to a celebrity. However, the chances of getting a personal response back was slim to nil.

Still, writing fan mail was once an incredibly popular practice. Kurt Cobain and company probably could not compete with the likes of Mickey Mouse. This fictional mouse made it into the Guinness Book of World Records for reportedly receiving 800,000 fan letters in 1933.

With social media becoming the main way to reach out to celebrities, your chances of a receiving a response from your idol of choice has probably improved, as it demands way less effort on their behalf.

If you’re a Sloan fan, you probably have an even greater chance of getting a response. Included in the comments for the “Penpals” YouTube video posted below is this one:

“I wrote these guys in the 90s and they wrote me back. Sent me a bunch of cool shit in the mail. Great songs, excellent guitar tones.”

So I tip my hat to Sloan. They apparently do have respect for the act of fanmailing.

Sources:

https://www.blogto.com/music/2012/11/sloans_jay_ferguson_talks_re-issue_of_twice_removed/“

https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/69997-most-hollywood-fan-mail

Artist: Larry Groce

Released: 1975

Lyrical Relic: Euell Gibbons

I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons
And I only eat homegrown spice
I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn
Filled up with my brown rice
Yes, I do.

Oh, but folks lately I have been spotted 
With a Big Mac on my breath
Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders
With a face as white as death

I'm afraid someday they'll find me
Just stretched out on my bed
With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips
And a Ding Dong by my head

In the daytime I'm Mr. Natural
Just as healthy as I can be
But at night I'm a junk food junkie
Good lord have pity on me

Full lyrics

We’ve all been guilty of this. Professing to eat healthily only to indulge in not-so-healthy food when no one is looking. Such is the double life of the Junk Food Junkie.

Almost five decades after Larry Groce released this novelty song, you’d have thought that some of the junk food he confesses to eating would have ended up as lyrical relics. But alas, all the junk food — from Big Macs to Pringles to Twinkies and Moon Pies — has endured to our day. Perhaps it is a testament to their deliciousness?

As comical as this song is, one can view it as a harbinger of the serious junk food epidemic that was just about to emerge. The year 1976 is cited as the start of the obesity epidemic in the US. And the factor most closely linked to the epidemic is ultra-processed foods.

Euell Gibbons was the antithesis of a junk food junkie. He achieved celebrity status during during the 1960s as a health food advocate, with an emphasis on eating wild foods.  He’s best known for starring in commercials for Grape Nuts cereal, that wholesome cereal that’s akin to little wood pellets. I’m sure Euell wholeheartedly loved it though, as he was not adverse to incorporating trees into his diet. “Ever eat a pine tree?” he asked viewers in all seriousness in one memorable commercial. “Many parts are edible.”

Junk Food Junkie was first released independently as a single in 1975. Gibbons died on December 29, 1975, at the not-so ripe old age of 64.

Groce’s one-hit-wonder parked itself on the Billboard Hot 100 for 15 weeks, reaching the #9 spot. He later went on to record many classic children’s songs for Walt Disney Records — rest assured there was no reference to “junkies” in any of these recordings.

Sources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9611578/#B5-nutrients-14-04253
https://onesongsevenquestions.blogspot.com/2015/01/junk-food-junkie.html

Artist: Homer and Jethro

Released: 1952

Lyrical Relic: Ken-L Ration

Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes. 
Drink Wrigley's Spearmint beer.
Ken-L-Ration dog food makes your wife's complexion clear.
Chew chocolate-covered mothballs -- they're sure to satisfy.
Brush your teeth with Lifebuoy soap and watch the suds go by.

Full lyrics

Henry “Homer” Haynes and Kenneth “Jethro” Burns, better known as Homer and Jethro, were a country duo specializing in satirical versions of popular songs. They were dubbed the Thinking Man’s Hillbillies.

This novelty song describes billboards advertising products, but not in the way they are intended to be used. The commercial messaging is all mixed up in this silly mash-up of products, most of which are still on the market 70 years later. All except Ken-L-Ration.

Introduced in 1922 by the Chappel Brothers, Ken-L Ration was the the first canned dog food in the United States and it was chock full of horse meat. It became the best-selling dog food brand in the US. To keep up with the strong demand, horses were specifically bred and killed at a rate of 50,000 a year in the mid 1930s. The cans featured a cartoon dog mascot named Fido and assured consumers that the meat was “government inspected.” When the US entered World War II, the government started rationing tin and meat. Subsequently, the Chappel brothers ditched the horse meat and began producing dry dog food.

In 1942, Quaker Oats purchased Ken-L Ration, later selling it to HJ Heinz in 1995. The brand managed to survive into the new millennium but was was discontinued shortly after. But nostalgic pet food lovers need not despair — there is still plenty of Ken-L Ration memorabilia widely available.

Sources:

https://www.iastatedigitalpress.com/mmb/article/id/14397/

https://www.petfoodindustry.com/production/article/15450890/learn-from-the-past-petfood-industry

Artist: Crosby, Stills and Nash

Released: 1977

Lyrical relic: Lyrics that describe going through airport security with someone who does not have a boarding pass

She helped me with my suitcase
She stands before my eyes
Driving me to the airport
And to the friendly skies

Going through security
I held her for so long
She finally looked at me in love
And she was gone

Full lyrics

By 1977, the golden era of air travel — when it was still considered luxurious and an occasion for dressing up in one’s finest — was pretty much over. However, the airport experience was still quite chill. Going through security and getting to your gate in time did not induce the soaring stress levels it does today. The screening of passengers and their carry-on baggage had only become a requirement or US airlines in 1973, but it remained fairly lax, right into the new millennium. Everything of course changed after 9/11.

It’s unclear exactly who this woman is that is taking Graham Nash to the airport (my guess is a post-concert fling), but she’s with him as he goes through security before they part ways. In 1977, you could get away with this, but there’s no way this lady is going to venture past security today without a boarding pass. 

There are a few exceptions. If you need to accompany a minor or elderly person, or a person with disabilities, you can apply for a gate pass. Airlines will also issue a special access pass to family members of those serving in the US military.

Times may be changing though. A handful of airports have started to offer visitors passes so you can hang out with your travelling counterparts right until they depart, or just meander through airports and partake of their overpriced shops and restaurants.

According to Nash, he wrote the song on a bet, in just 20. A friend that Nash was staying with (a.k.a., his drug dealer) wagered that he couldn’t whip up a song just before he left for the airport. Nash won $500 for his effort. It also garnered him and his band their highest charting hit. Not bad for 20-minutes work.