Artist: Rupert Holmes

Released: 1979

Lyrical relic: Newspaper personal ad

I was tired of my lady
We'd been together too long
Like a worn out recording
Of a favorite song

So while she lay there sleepin'
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read

Full lyrics

Rupert Holmes’ lament of love gone stale begins by comparing his relationship to a worn out record of a favorite song. Fortunately, in 2022, we don’t have to worry about our favorite songs getting “worn out”. We have digital technology to thank for that. But we’re not going to concern ourselves with that  particular lyrical relic right now. Instead, let’s look at philandering in the pre-digital age, when the newspaper personal ad could be your “partner in crime”(the apt title of the Holmes’s album that spawned his sole number one hit)  

He’s intrigued by a certain personal ad in the newspaper and decides to post a response to it in the paper himself. Turns out the lady he meets is his own little lady! What hilarious irony. A simple personal ad allowed him to learn new things that magically helps reignite his passion for this woman, most notably their shared love of Pina Coladas. That’s sweet, but how about the unmentioned — but glaringly obvious – shared propensity to infidelity? Perhaps if both partners are up for cheating, it cancels out any wrongdoing? In any case, I’d be hesitant to classify “Escape” as a love song.     

The printed personal ad has a long history. The first known American personal ad appeared in the Boston Globe in 1759 and became regular features of most major newspapers. However, with the rise of the Internet came the decline of the printed newspaper and their personal ads.

It’s highly unlikely Rupert’s scenario could have played out today. The world of online dating is highly fickle and a profile without a photo is generally unacceptable (i.e. surprises are unwelcomed). Match.com was one of the first dating sites created, launching in 1995. A decade later, many free dating sites started to appear, and now dating apps offer even more ease and convenience — just swipe away until you find a mug shot that appeals to you. Today, Rupert would have had a choice of dating sites, including ones catering to those seeking extramarital affairs.

To claim this song marked the end of an era would be quite accurate. The 1970s ended with this song charting at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 on  December 22, 1979.  I’m sure Rupert was raising a glass of Pina Colada to that.